Being short isn’t always easy. As someone who is 4’11 3/4”, I can attest to the fact that being such a shorty can really get in the way sometimes. And I’m not just talking about the fact that all my top shelves go unused, or how if I’m not in the front row of a show, I don’t have a chance in hell of seeing the band. No, I’m actually talking about the struggles of having sex when you're short — especially when your partner is tall.
Because I’ve always been attracted to tall guys, I’ve found that while some positions work, others just do not. For example, when I dated a guy who was 6’4”, it was almost impossible for us to kiss while in the missionary position, because his head was that much higher than mine. Granted, I would lift up and he’d sort of pull downward so we could kiss, but each time we did so, the penetration was less deep because he’d have to move down, and in doing so, his hips would follow. Our height difference kind of got in the way of all that intimacy that comes with getting to look your partner in the eyes when you orgasm.
In being short, I’ve realized that, as long as I'm only having sex with tall people, there are just some positions that I’ll never get to experience. Which I guess isn’t totally the end of the world. But the positions that have worked for me have worked magnificently. Here are five positions for my fellow shorties out there.
1. Spooning
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How To Do It: Get into the spooning position — but of course, you want to be the little spoon for this. Because your partner is behind you and unable to really see where they need to enter you, whether with their penis or a strap-on, the best way to get them to penetrate you is to lift your top leg a bit and push your hips against them as they get themselves into place.
Why It Works: Well, if you’re a short, you’re used to being the little spoon when you’re spooning. And because you’re not standing but lying on your sides, your height difference doesn’t come into play all that much. It’s also a great way to stimulate your G-spot, since your partner is coming in from behind.
2. Person With A Vulva On Top
Caroline Wurtzel for Bustle
How To Do It: If the name isn't self-explanatory enough, then let me break it down for you: Have your partner lie down on their back, while you get on top, straddling straddling their hips, and take their penis or a toy inside you.
Why It Works: Well, if you’re limited in the height area, where you really excel is having sex on top, because you’re little! You can easily control the situation on top with your hips, and without long legs getting in the way.
3. Sitting
Caroline Wurtzel for Bustle
How To Do It: Ask your partner to sit up-right with their legs crossed. From there, you want to slowly lower yourself onto their penis or a toy while facing them, then wrap your arms and legs around them. It might take a few minutes to sync your movements, but don’t worry, you’ll get there.
Why It Works: Again, your height allows you to get on your partner and embrace them fully with your limbs. It’s also in this position that you can have some pretty hot make-out sessions, because you’re facing each other, making it extremely intimate. If you think you can handle it, you can also try a variation of this one with your back against the wall, your limbs still around your partner, while they stand. Sex against a wall, while your body is totally supported in your partner's arms, is pretty hot.
4. Doggy Style
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How To Do It: Get on your hands and knees; then, your partner enters you from behind while on their knees. But depending on how short you are, you just might need to put a pillow or two under your hips so that you and your partner are parallel to each other.
Why It Works: Doggy style is pretty much the position that just keeps giving. It’s great for shorties, first-timers, people with small penises, and also provides some intense G-spot stimulation. Even if you don’t orgasm that way, either you or partner can use a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris.
5. Dangling Over The Edge Of The Bed
Caroline Wurtzel for Bustle
How To Do It: Lay back on your bed, with your legs hanging off the side. You also want to make sure your butt is as close to the edge as possible. From here, your partner stands between your legs and enters you from a standing position, while pulling their hips in toward your hips, as if making an L-shape of your two sets of hips.
Why It Works: With your partner standing, they're manning the ship, and your height allows them to have more control over the position as they thrust away. It’s also great because, while in other positions (i.e. missionary), the taller partner has to hold up their body weight, in this one they're standing and holding your body, which is fully supported by the bed, so it provides more leverage for them. If you throw in a vibrator in to use while they penetrate you from this angle, then you’re golden. Also, if your bed is on the short side, a couple of pillows under your butt will make a big difference.
This post was originally published on September 9, 2015. It was updated on August 15, 2019.
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